Sunday, Lessons Learned through Songwriting

Another Sunday has come and nearly passed and I am sitting down in the Southpoint Starbucks, waiting for everything to draw to a close and trying to use up the rest of this day in the most productive way possible. This is probably not a fitting attitude for someone who I running off of 3 hours of sleep (yes, my last post was written in one night, last night. And no, you don't have to tell me, the sudden urge to write a research paper on ones own initiative in one sitting, at midnight is “un-normal” at best), a Red Bull, and a cup of chai, but I can dream cant I?

Anyway, I have a song to finish writing, which is part of an album project that I want to get finished by the end of this year. It's mostly done, the bridge and the chorus are fully formed, but I am hoping to get at least one repeatable verse in there in time to have the song ready for band practice on Tuesday. It is actually, a little more “hard hitting” then the previous two works, and I hope that others are able to appreciate it in the same way that I do.

I am finding that the songs that “I” write (I use quotes because I am still not fully convinced that I am allowed to take full credit for the songs, they just kind of “come out”) are getting stuck in my own head, which seems weird to me, because I would have assumed that a songwriter gets sick of the song during the writing process. I guess I had figured, that after holding it's hand through the whole process, smoothing out all of the faults, rough spots, and shaping it into something that still defied perfection, that I would some how “fall out of love” with them. That ultimately, the songs would be something that I wake up to in the morning after a night of writing and playing, look at the lyrics and chord sheets wondering if I am making the right choices or if I had gotten caught up in the moment, and given my time, energy, heart and soul to something that was going to be a waste of time. I am overjoyed that this has not been the case so far. That even though I might have fleeting feelings that put themselves in the “what have I done” or “you are so not pulling this off” category, I am still able to pick things back up and continue the work of creating “messages encapsulated within song” that others can carry around with them, continuing to praise God through mental replaying, long after the song's last note had been played and the PA and guitar amps have been powered down for the night, letting me briefly rest in the satisfaction that I have been used to achieve something that points others to Christ.

This process of writing has taught me an important lesson that I believe can be used in all aspects of my life: That I can do nothing unless I trust God. Will I feel stupid sometimes? You bet. Will I mess up? Yup. But the only way that I can hope to achieve a true sense of confidence that is not founded in a distorted perception of my own abilities is to simply throw the stones which God places in my hand at the intended target as hard as I possibly can. I have to remember that God does not need my help, and that the reason for my involvement in the whole process is to spend quality time with the Lord Himself: to draw me further into a relationship with Him.

I have become well aware that there is no way to enjoy the life which God has given to me to the absolute fullest unless I am willing to trust him in all areas.

However, this seems to be easier said than done.

Probably because I cannot do it all by myself.

But I take comfort that there is always hope.

Because there is always help.

-Joey